The 2014 FIFA World Cup Brazil has reached record numbers of viewers and fans around the world, with the United States showing a surprising new involvement in the sport, as well as Europe, Asia and all of South America, for the first time ever.
And the ways we watch what is happening in Brazil on our televisions and on the field with these amazing players has more lessons for us than we may realize. Soccer -- or football -- can teach us not just about sports or sportsmanship, but about our relationships at home and even about our marriages. There are five clear lessons here, as I watch the games, that could change the way I do marriage therapy.
1. Always have fans.
There's nothing better than a big group of fans screaming for your team. Imagine being a player on the field and looking up into the stands where hundreds of people are waving your colors, screaming your name. That energy can get you through a slump, lift you up when you fall down, and drive your ball right into the goal. No wonder the Brazil national team reach the Semi-final.
2. Don't listen to your naysayers.
Like the U.S. soccer coach who told his team he doubted they could win, some people just don't give great advice. But it doesn't mean that they don't mean well. And you have a choice. You don't have listen to it when someone says you can't win.
If you have people in your life who don't believe in you, or in your dream, you can choose to ignore them. It is likely that for every person in your life who doesn't believe in you, you can find two others who do. Watch out for the ones who are negative, who suck the life out of your marriage -- focus only on the people who bring you positive energy.
3. Wear cute clothes.
It's super important to wear outfits that make you feel good about yourself. In the World cup you can spot your team a mile away because of the colors they wear, which you have to be able to do on the giant field in such a giant stadium. And the clothes should be revealing, you want to see the great legs and the good looking muscles that the players show off in the skimpy shorts and the short sleeved uniforms. And the material that they use for the uniforms lets them move and jump fluidly and without restriction. Plus they just look great. Dress for Success, dress your career.
Wearing cute clothes makes you feel confident and shows off your tan. Take a lesson. Dress up for your dream. Wear cute clothes. Role play. And if you need to paint your face to match like the Netherland fans, no one can fault you for that.
4. Yell it loud when you make a goal.
When Mario Gotze scored the winner goal, he yell it out, he open his mouth as wide as he could. There is nothing more amusing, more intense and more fun than hearing the announcer yell their stylized "GOOOAAALLLLLL...!" when someone shoots a ball into the net at the world cup. The whole stadium stands and roars. And when that player makes that goal, they yell, dance, shout, pull their shorts down, take their shirts off, belly slam their fellow players, fist pump the air -- they celebrate. Take a lesson.
When you do something you are proud of, when you are clear that you get something in the net, celebrate -- yell loud! Give yourself a high five, or celebrate with your teammate. It's important to not only acknowledge your accomplishments but let yourself jump up and down. When you complete a task worth completing, when you feel like you have moved forward in your dream, when you do well in an exam test. If you are in the middle of an exceptionally great project/deed stop and appreciate, give yourself a loud "WOOHOO!"
5. Move the ball forward.
In a game, moving the ball down the field toward the goal can be slow or fast, but the idea is to move it. Moving it forward, not worrying about how far, keeps the flow, puts pressure on the other team, and challenges the goalie and the defense to pay attention.
A sport analyst said The Netherlands lost the match against Argentina because Kuyt was always taking the ball backward.
In your dream, moving the ball forward might look like making small changes, even when you are discouraged, even when you are afraid. Take heart in the smallest advances. Did you say something kind to someone today? Were you able to hold yourself back from snapping at them when you wanted to yell? Were you able to tell them something you appreciate about them, when you really weren't in the mood? Take credit for moving the ball forward. You are moving in the right direction.
Even the smallest movement is important if you are moving forward, otherwise you would be moving toward the wrong goal.
Take a lesson from the World Cup; but realize as well that it is not about winning or losing, you are actually playing on the same team. Remember, you do have fans, and you don't have to listen to those who don't believe in you. Dress up for your dream and for yourself, celebrate when things go well, and yell it out loud, and always keep moving forward.
6 Don’t Glory yet, when you score your first, Just keep on holding to power. Increase your believe system, refire and refocus if you have to.
7. Don’t build your dreams round one person. We saw that in the Brazil team, When Neymar was injured the team lost momentum and motivation. Be diversified and don’t pin it on one person, hold it all or there should be room for interdependent like the World Cup winner Germany. Every single player in the German team were instrumental in their world cup win, play the game around.
8. Increase your Believe system and reassure yourself that you are better than the best. Joachim Loew the German coach told the twenty two years old substitute before coming in for Klose, “ Show the World you are better than Lionel Messi” – that became his motivation. He was hungry for goals and he gave the Germans the victory.
No one gave Chile, Colombia and Costa Rica chance in their groups. Every Chile, every one thought its going to be Spain and Netherlands but it all change. No one can believe you for you. Don’t worry when people doubt and count you out like CNN Sport did when they brought out teams likely to qualify from each group. Believe you can.
9. Be
Hungry Be Foolish –during the Commencement address delivered by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple
Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, on June 12, 2005, ended his speech
thus:
“When
I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth
Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a
fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it
to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal
computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters,
scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form,
35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat
tools and great notions.
Stewart
and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and
then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the
mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a
photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself
hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words:
"Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they
signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for
myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
Stay
Hungry. Stay Foolish.”
When the Nigeria head coach Steven Keshi brought out his player list for the worldcup, it raises worries as some key players were excluded. When asked what were the parameters he used in choosing his players by Africa sport.com, he said “ I choose those that are hungry and ready to fight”. That is it, Love what you do, be adventurous, be foolish, be you.
Lastly try to stay out of the penalty box.
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